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Love from God

by Ilana Blattner

When I came out as bisexual, it was pretty well received at the start. My family was supportive, and so were my closest friends. Things went downhill when people in my church or other kids of faith in my school started to find out that things went downhill. They said many hurtful things, like that it was impossible for me to “be gay and Catholic.” What hurt the most, however, was when I was told that God didn’t love me, and that Jesus didn’t die for someone like me. With the shallow understanding of my faith I had at the time, I believed them. Unless I changed an inherent part of who I was, they weren’t going to accept me anymore. I thought I didn’t deserve to be Catholic.

I stayed far away from religion until I came to DePaul. I had no intention of coming back to my faith until I was warmly invited to the CCM office one day. The first thing I started telling people was how I identified, and if that wasn’t okay, they should tell me now. But it was okay. And I was brought into a community so loving and accepting that I was finally able to realize I can be both bisexual and Catholic. After studying my faith much more thoroughly, I fell back in love with it. And now, here I am.

The people in high school that told me God would never love me for who I am were wrong—are wrong. John 4:7 says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” Everyone who loves comes from God. It doesn’t matter who you love, just so long as we love one another. We are all perfectly made in His image, and He made me able to love so wholly that the emotion surpasses any barrier of gender. I consider that as divine a grace as any, and I will never give up any part of my faith or sexual identity for anyone ever again.